Tag Archives: Parenting

The Crowded Desk: Theologoical Education and Children

Posted on

One of Elizabeth’s favorite places to hang out is my study.

(which is cool, most of the time.)

Whether you wait to build a family after school or during school is a decision that each couple has to make on their own, before and unto God. But if someone is in the “take-in-info-from-both-sides” stage, then consider this to be my endorsement of being a Dad and a student at the same time.

There is something sweet about a two-year old scooting up next to you while you’re trying to read God Crucified, especially after having just read Do You Want A Friend?

Evangelizing my Childrens’ Hearts

Posted on

In all of our attempts to “shepherd” Elizabeth’s heart, I realize that God did no such thing to my own. He just created a new one.

“And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.”  – Ezekiel 36:26-27

If our “shepherding” is to have any good effect then God has to do the same thing in her. In a truer sense, our work is soil-tilling and seed-sowing.

There are some fundamental differences that we tend to overlook when considering my favorite book on parenting. The padeobaptist understanding of the children of believers is a little different than that of credobaptists. Covenant theology would consider children of believers to be new covenant members. The new covenant is clearly contrasted with the old specifically at this heart issue– in the new covenant God will create a new heart.

My daughters do not get a new heart because their daddy and mommy believe in Jesus. And therefore my parenting of them is not so much a “shepherding” as it is an evangelizing–an evangelizing and praying that the Father would one day work that miracle in them.

Day 10: Theology is Not Above Domestic Life

Posted on

Though the institutional arrangements of theology in modernity have often made it hard for us to see this point, theology is not a transcendent moment, some activity of the mind standing above the merely domestic life of the Christian community and submitting it to an ironic, critical gaze. Holy reason is ecclesiastical science–a knowing and inquiring which takes place within ‘the commonwealth gathered, founded, and ordered by the Word of God’, and participating in the calling and promise which God issues to that commonwealth.

John Webster, Holiness, 26

Elizabeth is Two

Posted on

Yesterday we celebrated Elizabeth turning two-years old on December 26th.

I had the deep joy of praying a birthday blessing over Elizabeth…

In Jesus’ name by grace-
May the LORD bless you, my daughter, to shout and sing for joy as an inhabitant of Zion.
May He bless you to give thanks, to seek, to declare, to ascribe, and to worship:
that is, may the LORD bless you to
give Him thanks for His steadfast love,
to seek His presence continually,
to declare His name among all peoples,
to ascribe to Him glory and strength,
to worship Him in the splendor of holiness, through Jesus Christ by the Holy Spirit.
May the LORD bless you, my daughter, to say of Him:
“Blessed be the LORD, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting.”

In Jesus’ name, amen.

Do We Speak the Word at Home?

Posted on

The ministry of the Word is not the exclusive property of pastors and teachers, but is to be shared with the whole people of God in various capacities–one another speaking the Word to one another.

This culture of Word-speaking will not be a reality in a pastor’s congregation if it is not the reality in his own life. The question must first be, does “word-speaking” happen in my family? Does it happen outside of a formal context?

My hope is a home that is saturated with the Word. It is hung on the walls and prayed at the table and whispered in the morning when we awake from sleep and sung in the evenings before we go to bed and served in the busy monotony of regular days. I want my daughters to speak words of life to one another and I want them to love doing it. And even in my most frustrated and often sin-blinding moments, I want to break through to speak words of life to Melissa. Please, Jesus!

Do we really believe this Book? Brothers, do we believe the Book?

“Elizabeth, Obey Your Daddy” is Actually a Call to Faith in Jesus

Posted on

Both of my hands are gently gripped on the shoulders of my toddler. As I try to square up our eyes, she squirms and looks away. I say with a Spirit-granted firm tenderness, “Elizabeth, obey your daddy.”

She doesn’t get this yet, but I am really calling her to faith in Jesus.

It goes this way: I tell her to not grab cups and drink out of them because I want to protect her from pouring hot coffee over her face. When she grabs any cup then I discipline her. It is a necessity. My spanking her is protecting her from burning her face. I want to protect her because I love her. Moreover, I want to protect her because Jesus gave her to me as my daughter; and me to her as her Daddy.

Daddys are supposed to protect their children and when I protect her then I know I am doing what Jesus called me to do. I am not only expressing my love for her, I am expressing Jesus’ love for her, too. My command for her to obey rests on that. “Elizabeth, obey your daddy because Jesus loves you and gave me to you to protect you.”

The fundamental issue here is not her obedience, but her faith. If she would believe in Jesus then listening to her daddy would make more sense.

Having Kids Saved My Marriage

Posted on

If your marriage is struggling, do not have children in attempt to fix it. That is not what I am suggesting. Let me explain…

It’s my senior year of college during the last semester. Melissa and I have been married right over a month or so and we’re still floating up in honeymoon clouds. We haven’t had a real taste of marriage yet (I was still pinching myself from time to time). Wedding music is still in the background. We are just starting to go through our pictures from the big day. I come home from work and she gives me a present. I thought it was an I-Pod for an early graduation gift (catch the irony– again,  I thought it was an I-Pod). Instead it was a bib that said “I Love Daddy.”

Hmm. I didn’t really get it until I looked at Melissa’s glossy eyes (which is affecting me the same way just remembering it). I exclaimed something (I can’t remember exactly) and we hugged and prayed. We were really excited. It was amazing.

Nearly two years later, Elizabeth Grace is now the big sister to our newborn girl, Hannah Katherine. These are daughters of grace. I could never deserve them, nor could I deserve their Mom. These girls have saved my marriage. What I mean is that I don’t know anything much about marriage apart from fatherhood. I was/am learning about both at the same time. Being a dad makes me a better husband, and being a husband makes me a better dad.

Having kids saved my marriage because being a dad saved me from the type of husband I might be if I had not received the blow that this thing is bigger than me and my wants. The fantasy that the world revolves around you is interrupted enough when you get married, throw a baby into that mix and you have the demise of self-centeredness (or at least a ferocious assault against it). It is a double-dose of sanctifying grace and it is what I needed, when I needed it. Even now.